By Princess of the Euphrates
She was looking at the sky wistfully, as far as the sky was filled with fireworks and the world was full with sounds, which remind us of the sound of the terrible bombardment on our dear country. She was saying: “The New Year has come ma’am, do I congratulate you and the world to make my dream of peaceful homeland come true, yes ma’am I still have the hope of a beautiful dream like the colors of these fireworks, despite all what has happened.
Only dreams cannot be defeated by the weapons of the world, the dreams that grow in the water of freedom, dreams that encourage us whenever our convictions collapsed, dreams that pat on our shoulders so the pain cannot take us away, now we have to stick to the dream. – I asked her about the reality of the New Year and away from the dream, she replied: Year after year, the reality getting harsher, everything around us collapse, even what we have is not enough to wait for tomorrow. – I said: and what do you say about the world who has committed all the crimes in history against our country? She said: murder is not the last thing, and the world ignoring us is not the first thing, where the world is trying to change everything of us and upon us, makes enemies and send them to us.
– What about your family members, who you have lost them, and you even could not do anything for those who killed them? She laughed bitterly and responded quickly Do not ask a Syrian about his opinion on his fate… I asked her about the size of losses in her life? She said: the war grinds all our memories and the details of our days in exile; I have lost much Madam, from the dust of my garden, to the family which was missed by the death on one hand and the expatriation on the other. On the other hand, I, my husband, my baby and my wounded brother have survived, and we were able to cross into Turkey, where the bitter alienation journey began, which I was able to overcome it through a small laugh from the lips of my child that I see him all my dreams.
I was arranging between my house and visiting my injured brother in the hospital, whose condition was bad due to the sore of the wound and being late to be cured, because we were late to enter the hospital because they were not receiving the Syrian patients without the personal identity cards issued by the Immigration Department, and when we obtained it; the doctor rushed to start the treatment but it seems that it was too late, so we had only to pray for him and to mitigate him. I asked her: what about you, your life, your husband and your baby? She said: my life? When I go home I do quickly what it is needed for my husband, my child and my home, and my mind remains busy about my brother’s situation, who seems that there is no hope for him.
Days and weeks passed, and my situation was getting worse, my shape changed and my body has been weak and no one to help, even it began to get worse between me and my husband because of neglecting myself and I no longer have time for that. – What about your husband? Was he visiting your brother in the hospital? She said: initially yes, but at the end he got bored and pulled away, now he has his own life, where he in addition to his work in one of the factories, he was sprucing up, wearing perfume every morning, drinking his coffee with a strange delight, and he was coming back late at night.
– I asked her: Did you tried to change your dealings with him? She said: I no longer care about anything while I see my brother’s case is getting worse. One night he came to me late and he was terribly drunk, he asked to stay awake with him and to wear makeup and to dance on his favorite song. – I stared at him for long and approached him carefully, and I asked him, do you complain about something? Do you want me to make you the dinner? Here he screamed in my face, saying do not you understand? What’s going on with you? Do you think even you are a woman? I kept silent and controlled myself; I have not even finished my talk with him and “he fell asleep deeply.”
I did not sleep that night, I was an confused between my brother placed on his bed in the hospital alone, and between my house and my husband, who could not bear the crisis that I am going through, and which cannot be bearable. At the rise of dawn I prayed to God, cried and wished the next day to come and the situation to be better. After that I completed some house work and the sun shone while I’m working, my husband woke up to see me busy in tidying the kitchen, he looked at me and completed his way, then he quickly wore his clothes and went out. I took my baby and went out headed for the hospital, and when I entered my brother’s face was very pale, the doctor there has told me to follow him to his room.
– I asked her: is your brother better now or is still in danger? She said: no at all, he lost half of his weight, and his eyes have been yellowed, not only this; the doctor told me to take him to a private hospital to perform a quick operation to save his life. I did not have nothing but a small golden bracelet which is all the rest I have of my jewelry, which were sold and I was desperately in need of them to rent a house and live in dignity before my husband works. I went out of hospital quickly to one of the gold shops in the city and sold my bracelet for the treatment of my brother, and went back, and they transferred my brother to a private hospital and the full amount was paid to the hospital, then the expensive surgery was done, but the case of my brother was getting worse day after day. In a black day as the day when I lost my parents and my brothers, I attended as usual to the hospital and they told me the painful news… My brother died, I did not find any one around me… Almighty God knows; I cried more than I did throughout the whole my life. They brought out his skinny body from the hospital, and I went alone to the burials in one of the designated areas in the city, I had no more tears due to the severity of crying; I said the last goodbye to him and went back to the house, There I found my husband.
His eyes were sparking … ”Where have you been??” I broke down in tears and told him what happened to me, he replied in terrible cold blood: Where is your golden bracelet? Did you lose it? I said no, I have sold it for the treatment of my brother He exploded with rage and started shouting, beatings, insults, and he broke up with me, he took my baby and threw me out of the home. – I asked her, do you know anyone who can help you? – She said, never I do not know anybody in this strange city… I got tired of this world and went to the passenger station and then to this city where one of my relatives lives, asking him for help to retrieve my child from my husband. I still try and dream of the day I feel comfort of this entire nightmare. I asked her: Is the dream still possible? ”The dream is stronger and larger than them. The dream that is made by the faith of our right to live freely as befits to our humanity. Yes, the dream is still possible.”